THE empathy BEHAVIOR
Empathy - appreciate the taste of others is a noble quality. The term empathy has become popular since Daniel Goleman published his book, Emotional Intelligence (2005), is one important aspect of emotional intelligence. What is empathy really been taught since he obtained enlightenment Suryomentaram 1927.
The practice of corruption, of collusion, abuse of power (regardless of the rights of others) is an everyday occurrence. Such behavior is a form of personal development self-important: always be selfish and feel the most right (do not develop a sense of guilt).
According to the norms of healthy personality development, more and more people should be let go after a loose egoism of adolescence. Selfishness is an inherent characteristic of childhood, particularly the age of 3-5 years, when I started growing awareness of the "me."
Selfish behavior is also widespread among the public. Example is the driving behavior. It's hard to find drivers willing to provide the opportunity for pedestrians to cross. 80s The drivers are still prioritizing pedestrian street, the mirror position caring for the weaker party.
In the domestic realm, selfishness manifested in the behavior of tyranny, violence, ignorance, hurt each other, etc.. Suicide, murder of family members, are examples of fatal impact is not healthy development of personality. Why are we back in the development of personality? How to develop a healthy personality?
A pullback Society Personality someone is discrete. Each person develops a unique process, combining innate factors (genetic) and environmental factors. How is the learning process on the experiences encountered throughout life, regulation of the pressure (stress) experienced, and the choice of life value, in determining the quality of his personality.
Three things are developing in a person are influenced by other people, especially the cultural groups. That is why even though each person is unique, we can also find the similarity of individual characteristics of a ma ¬ society groups, and the differences are quite striking characteristics between groups of people from one another (stereotypes).
Effect of macro environment (the community) against a person will have a similar effect for individuals in society who lack the capacity to empower the individual, especially common sense (reasoning), managing emotions, and spirituality.
When the influence of the environment is an important experience (stressors, as well as a pleasant surprise) and the response patterns of individuals adopt less healthy people (selfish, aggressive, manipulative, concerned with the status / power, the pursuit of pleasure), not empower their personal capacity for healthy (common sense, managing emotions, spirituality), they will dissolve in the mass culture that is unhealthy or even disintegrating personality.
It seems like that's the dynamics that cause people can not grow healthy. Number of individual personality qualities that are not healthy in a country, especially if widespread in the line of authority, of course, causes deterioration of the entire country.
Ability Empathizing Another explanation about the influence of personality on the forward-citizens pullback country, can we meet in the description of Ki Ageng Suryomentaram, psychological character of Java, about the size of the four in human life. Fourth the size of which is referred to human life in relation to feelings. This is the highest level should be achieved in the development of personality.
Regarding the link between the forward-fourth the size of a country retreat, Suryomentaram explains: "The lack of development of these four measures, often lead to the development of the countries which first rose up brilliant, then more decline, bleak, until the fall. The development of these countries while soaring, while falling down. "
Suryomentaram explanation about the concept of personality and also includes a guide to develop a healthy personality. This will help us to get answers on how to develop a healthy personality. Suryomentaram some concepts has been the subject of scientific research studies and psychology, and expressed its relevance to the present.
Some of them by Darmanto Jatman, thesis inaugural speech in 1985 and professor in 2008; Nanik Prihartanti, dissertation in 2003 and several other scientific work; Patchouli Widyarini, manuscript workshop in 2008; or research and scientific study of philosophy and anthropology.
Regarding the fourth measure, Suryomentaram explained that this is one of three tools that need to be educated men. If not educated, its growth will not be fair. Tools that need to be educated is the heart, mind, and the size of the fourth. Liver is a tool to feel it yourself (feel experienced); minds are tools for thinking, and the size of the four is a tool to feel the sense of other people (now called empathetic).
Heart of Hearts as a tool for personal taste, if not educated enough to grow not fair, so it is often mistakenly feel they experienced. The mistake was caused purnya ¬ mixed with various flavors (essentially good / good and bad / happy) is irregular. Separating flavors mingled irregularly it is one exercise to educate the heart.
Examples of people to gamble. When winning feels good and happy, but the pleasure is mixed with anxiety, fear of losing, and the desire to maintain the victory. Although the ideal is reached (should be happy) but despite concerns that arise again, it feels uncomfortable. Mixed feeling like this is often not realized.
Basically, human actions solely by how he responds to the taste experience. If the response is wrong, his actions were wrong. Therefore, the heart must be trained to separate a sense of joy and sorrow (hard) or the happiness and suffering, so they can respond and act appropriately.
Mind in society, a lot of disputes happen because of errors in thinking. Developing the mind can be run with the separation between objects in a generic sense (abstract; not be called a number, can not be seen, does not depend on place and time) with detailed items (finished goods, which can be calculated in number, can be explained how its form, where, when ); separating thoughts from feelings, separating thinking about who lived with a sense of taste is to live. Complete explanation of this requires a long description, so it will be discussed separately on another occasion.
Fourth Man can appreciate the size of his own taste and sense of others. Sense of others and sense of self are both contained in the sense of self. So, feeling human being contains a sense of self and sense of others. When the sense of self and sense of others mixed, will appreciate the sense of other people wrong.
For example, a man left a few days. When home he found his wife's stomach ache. The man was disappointed, and this causes disappointment he could not appreciate his wife's pain. Own interests hinder people to appreciate the taste of others (empathy).
Although deceptively simple, the fourth measure is very important in determining the quality of our personality. MM, M. Si Patchouli Widyarini Psychology Doctoral Candidate
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